Priorities, success, happiness.. I want it all!
Lately, I just don’t like the way I look – so drained and tired. I keep telling myself that I’m only 24 and I should cheer up baby! Seize the world! C’est la vie!
I’m so terrible at making decisions for myself (I like to think with my heart and not my brains) – and this is only the beginning. Man, how do I go through life. Maybe this is the crossroads that people were talking about. It’s not about when you were a teenager and tried to do things your way. It’s about making sacrifices so that you achieve the success you want. Maybe it’s just my anxiety disorders kicking in again.
But I need to get my priorities right - what is success without happiness. But what makes me happy? Am I happy if I keep popping pills? – my sis asked. Is happiness to have my family be proud of me, for my success to be recognised, or is it just to be with my family. I want them all – family, power, money, the world!…actually, it’s just God to be by my side, to protect me, to guide me, to help my family.
I miss my family so much. Regardless of what I say, what I do, each and everyone of them are always there to back me up, to cheer me on, to pray for my well-being. This is my promise – I will keep the family together always. To me that is the most important thing. Yes, I can and am greedy sometimes. Typical me who just loves to blame it on something else – my star sign (aries loves ruling the world), my genetics etc etc
I need to think what’s best for everyone because of this promise. I need to be strong, keep strong and keep getting up everytime I fall. It’s because they never give up on me. Never. I don’t want to give up for my loved ones… the one who sincerely believes that I can make it from the start.
